Embrace the unknown

So I tried filming this but I couldn’t get past the heavy breathing and the tears streaming down my face. Lol I’m too dramatic for my own good if you ask me.

I turn 29 in a months time. I’ve tried confusing myself with all the party planning, guest listing and location hunting. But fuck! I’m not sure if I saw myself here at the age of 29. I really didn’t but I will say I am truly blessed to have most of the opportunities that I have gotten and keep getting. A mother’s prayers , am I right?

Theres been a lot going on in my life. I’ve been finding it really difficult dealing. As a content creator the one thing you always rely on is your mind. My mind hasn’t been fine in a while, I surround myself with amazing people, good vibes and positive energy. But I never give myself time to be with my mind.

I’ve been drowning for a while now, the sunken place. I hadn’t realized what was keeping me there, I hadn’t realized I was terrified. Fear can really put you back, you drink to much to not think about it, you “work “ too hard to block it all out . All this time not facing the real issues that are keeping us in this dark place. What I realized was that not dealing with it all made me slower at my job, not able to communicate with my friends and family. Always surviving instead of thriving in life (I got that off Pinterest lol.)

I really don’t know what I can tell you guys, if you’re in the same place as me but I want to try something out. I need some company. Let’s get out of the sunken place together.

So in the month of July, ahead of my 29th birthday, I want to ;

1. Take more time to myself- I’m an extrovert which means people are constantly feeding off my energy. This month I want to recharge, not to say I will be a lone. But I want to reconnect with me, go for hikes , SIT DOWN, lol if you know me you know I’m always on the move. I miss me, this is my treat to myself.

2. Accept that I’m not ok. -sometimes this is the first step. I had to acknowledge that I’m not in the best space, that in itself is such a huge thing because the works “I’m ok”  can be so deceiving so people around you will pile on their problems on you and you are drowning. Learn to say it, and work through it. You can’t be anyone’s support system if your weak. Remember that!

3. Love yourself just a bit more-  I want to do more things that I love, like being in the kitchen more, taking care of  my body, buying myself those shoes I have been eying for months. Take a spin class, lol sounds like torture but meh it’s self love because it’s not just for now it’s for later.

Thats that my loves, to whomever may be reading this and they aren’t in the best place. Take care of you babes.

 

Jay.

 

Photos by @everdaypeoplestories

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  • Wairimu

    Gosh Jay! 🙁

    It shall be well ❤❤

    We get so caught up in the drinking, partying & hangingout that we forget to take care of our inner self.

    Its true & I feel you on this! Planning on taking sometime off too, to recharge!

    Love & Light 🙂